Hold no resentment:
acknowledgment of why you are angry is more important than using anger. Being aware of the reasoning for the anger is in a way using that anger. Going through the emotional breakdown internally through quiet meditation or alone time away from everyone that you can potentially harm by saying or expressing yourself.
It is perfectly normal for us to go through the feeling of anger at the same time evaluating the reason for the feeling. Reflecting on what brought it is very important. Accepting the truth whether it is a decision of self inflicted or a perception you chose from someone to be an asshole.
We have to be strong enough to change the process and use the lessons from our feeling of anger.
Adopting below methods will definitely work for you. Read attentively and act accordingly.
Take long breathe, slowly. Repeat at least 5-6 times. Then think, is it really worthy to be so much angry, being irritating, shouting or frowning. If not then please be poised and mull over the issue. Sometimes a normal discussion / actions can solve most of the issues.
Please ask yourself the following questions & answer frankly
Do You Have a fierce temper
It is a tough & up-hill task, yet possible with practice.
A.First identify your triggers, what of the following makes you lose your marbles
7.Being put down
10.Being pressurized into doing things against your values
13.Being Lied or because of giving false excuses given by others
15.Because of Unwarranted Name calling
B.Check the following for the probable underlying causes for what makes you lose your temper & cool at fraction of second
Do you always been angry person
C. Now Identify your anger types, pattern or style – there could be following ways you get angry
I. Your temper shots up in an instant, mercury rises to the top & explodes & it takes a lot to make you cool down – in this state you can do anything & harm others. Road rage is an example
II. You get angry fast but get calm down also quite fast – in this state you may say bad things that you may regret later, but you are unlikely to harm anybody else
III. You are blind wit internal rage & people with this type would definitely have emotional issues & many physical ailments & brain hemorrhage or similar attacks
IV. Destructive Anger, When you lose you cool – you break things, throw things, even the most useful & expensive items you would throw
V. Revengeful anger – in this you definitely get angry but do not show and coolly plan your revenge and for that you may wait maybe months, years. Cold blooded murder may come under this VI. Self-destroying anger – you suppress you anger within & start blame, criticizing, belittling yourself
VII. Passive-aggressive anger, you are too angry, but as you are submissive you show that you are okay. But do all the things to harm without getting blamed for the damage done
VIII. These are the people who are perpetually irritated, sometimes they can fight even with the wind on why it is blowing
IX. Then there are people who maintain complete cool in one situation & lose it completely in another situation
X. Then there are people with psychological disorders, who are so nice & cool in front of outsiders, but make the life hell for their closest ones
XI. Then there are people who understand what angers you, you try to avoid those people & situation. If forced into same, you would go away to ignore and avoid the trigger as soon as possible
XII. These type of people, use the tremendous energy of their anger to create something extra-ordinary for themselves or for the world What to do if you are on the verge of losing your temper – if you can recognize that you are about to get angry beyond control, that in itself if by practice can lower your anger to less troublesome level.
Anger is generally a reaction of triggers pressed my others & many time by ourselves.
This also could be a sign of your not able to deal with the situation or person effectively.
Tips to manage, channelize & provide healthy outlet for your anger – to read further please visit my blog in my website on How to Manage Anger
I have been through the same position as you are having right now. My friend, my experience has taught me that how terrible foe is anger for a person. I appreciate that you are seeking answers for it. Now let me tell you few methods which helped me:
Meditation. It really helps. If you do it properly, it gets you rid of sorrows you had. For beginners its advisable to meditate at least for 5 minutes. Generally the minimum time is 20 minutes.
All the best
Just follow these steps:
Don’t say anything. Just look at them while they shout.
This works for children having temper tantrums as well.
What’s important is recognizing when and why you’re angry and not letting it get out of control. How you communicate when you’re angry is the defining difference in letting your anger defeat your logic. If you respond using only anger, the conversation will likely be destructive and ineffective.
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