Author Posts

August 13, 2019 at 6:30 pm

Ms. Arnika, love your idea! Do not take the behaviour of others personally and have least expectations from people. Calmness will follow!

September 27, 2019 at 12:24 pm

Learn, know and respect your own emotional style. Introverts and especially introverts who are heavy feelers may need extra time to process their emotions. Don’t be shy about saying you need extra time to work through your feelings.

I found it helpful to get some counseling on how to express my feelings using ‘I’ statements to share in a nonthreatening way what I was feeling with others. Doing so helps you express your feelings in a timely manner and keeps feelings from building up until they finally explode all over.

Recognize that your own feelings are valid for you and others even when they’re not always logical. It’s fine to talk about feelings, but not a good idea to act them out to the detriment of others. Talking about feelings in a healthy and assertive way will help other people know you and feel connected to you.

Taking a time out helps if you are overwhelmed by your feelings. Deep breathing exercises and counting to ten before responding can also be helpful.

November 7, 2019 at 6:43 am

Learn, know and respect your own emotional style. Introverts and especially introverts who are heavy feelers may need extra time to process their emotions. Don’t be shy about saying you need extra time to work through your feelings.

I found it helpful to get some counseling on how to express my feelings using ‘I’ statements to share in a nonthreatening way what I was feeling with others. Doing so helps you express your feelings in a timely manner and keeps feelings from building up until they finally explode all over.

Recognize that your own feelings are valid for you and others even when they’re not always logical. It’s fine to talk about feelings, but not a good idea to act them out to the detriment of others. Talking about feelings in a healthy and assertive way will help other people know you and feel connected to you.

Taking a time out helps if you are overwhelmed by your feelings. Deep breathing exercises and counting to ten before responding can also be helpful.

November 7, 2019 at 8:19 am

I remember the last time someone screamed something to me in the street and I just burst out laughing. (I live in NYC, people scream at strangers in rage more often that we admit).

It was a day after the rain, and there was a big puddle at the curb. It was too wide for me to jump over so I walked around it. As I did, I observed a guy pull the leash that was wrapped around his little’s dog neck so that it yanked the dog into the air and over the puddle. I was horrified.

The guy asked me if I was alright. I told him “well I just saw you yank your dog in the air to avoid the puddle, the poor thing”. He flipped out. He started yelling at me, then his girl friend chimed in, assaulting my hair and my appearance and used the C word. I started chuckling. I think I even said ‘is that all you got?’

People at work have things to say about me. That I’m not this, that I’m not that, I’m too this or whoa, she’s what? wearing jeans to the office? whauuut?

All my life, I’ve been the girl with “that hair”, “that body” “that wardrobe” “omg those shoes, how many pairs does she have?” I have once been called a sociopath TO MY FACE, in a group setting!

W H O C A R E S! is where I am today. And god it took so long to get here.

I have stuff to think about. I have papers and books to read. I have paintings to make. I have so much house work!!!!! Why isn’t the house work ever done!!!!! I HAVE QUORA ANSWERS TO WRITE. I don’t have the time to care what the fuck anyone thinks or says about me.

I AM WHO I AM. and I know what that is.

I have learned people project their own insecurities. People recognize what they loathe in themselves in others and direct that hatred unto others. Not me sorry. Not playing.

I’m rubber you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

“Psychological projection, also known as blame shifting, is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.”

I am open to and accept sincere criticism. I will listen and apologise if it is necessary. I respect feedback and helpful information. Tell me something of value and I will give you my undevoted attention.

But day to day petty bickering and posturing. GIVE ME A BREAK!
Give yourself a break, stop getting sucked into the drama of others. People lash out. React with kindness and compassion, or just ignore them. Not worth the trouble.

November 7, 2019 at 11:57 am

It all depends on how much I value their opinion. If they are wrong, then don’t worry too much about making them admit they are. If you examine your own motives and actions and find that the person was right, take steps to change. If you find they are wrong, then no big deal. We are all wrong sometimes. And if the person isn’t someone you can reasonable discuss something like criticisms with, then who cares what they think? Keep the number of people that have that kind of power over your emotions to a minimum.