Author Posts

August 19, 2019 at 6:22 pm

I have practicing deep breathing techniques for a while now and I swear by its effects on calming the mind.

August 19, 2019 at 6:23 pm

May I dare to say that keep our mobile phone off for major part of the day is the first step towards calm mind!! On a serious note, living in the present and not worrying about future and dwelling of past is the way out.

September 27, 2019 at 12:22 pm

If you’re an empath and with a narcissist, and the narcissist isn’t able to see themself for what they really are and treat their disorder like alcoholism, then I just don’t see any way to have a healthy relationship. You’ll continue to give all, and the narcissist will continue to take more than you are able to give. Unless the narcissist is actively working in therapy and possibly on medication, then your odds of success are bleak to say the least. As with alcoholism, the first step is to admit you have a problem, and then live day by day, emotion by emotion, decision by decision, reaction by reaction in sobriety. It’s a life long journey that will require therapy, immense dedication, determination and work to keep in check. Everything a narcissist in recovery does requires taking personal accountability with each thought, action and reaction, and when in crisis, having a sponsor to reach out to. When your spouse makes a decision to do something that makes you feel like you are losing control, or you start to spin a false reality about their motives and intentions, you have to have a person to go to who can tell you the hard truth and bring you back to reality. Right now, that person can’t be my spouse, but I hope that someday it will be.

September 30, 2019 at 8:25 am

Loving relationships take effort. The experts suggested these tips for making love last.

Manage conflict. In her clinical work and research on happy couples, Dubinsky has found that all couples have conflict. But it’s how they deal with conflict that counts. When a compromise doesn’t seem possible, the key is to manage conflict and fight fair. This includes not hitting below the belt, listening to your partner and speaking clearly and directly, she said. “Resist the urge to bring up prior events that may help you prove your point.” Staying on track prevents an argument from escalating. Consider your partner’s point of view, and how they might interpret yours, she said. ““We don’t have to agree, but we must work to understand.”

Have a strong foundation. “Your interests, opinions and experiences can change as you grow. But if you share the same core belief systems, you will have a platform from which to build a strong relationship,” Rastogi said.
Have fun. “Whether it is gardening, deep sea diving, or taking French cooking lessons, all couples should have some activities that they enjoy doing with each other,” Rastogi said.

Ask about your partner’s day, and actually listen. “Offering a solution is not always necessary. Listening always is,” Dubinsky said.
Be clear about your needs. The best way to get your needs met is to communicate them clearly. As Dubinsky said, none of us is a mind reader.
Share your feelings with each other. Vulnerability is sharing your feelings – not your thoughts. And this ultimately helps you connect emotionally, Hansen said. “When you argue with your partner, the facts do not matter. Rather it is important for couples to share how the incident made them feel or how it affected them emotionally.”

Carve out quality time. “This does not have to be an elaborate date or a vacation; sometimes just going to bed a little early, turning off the television, and connecting can go a long way,” Hansen said.

Have your own passions. “We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. It is OK to pursue some separate activities, either individually, or with friends, apart from your partner,” Rastogi said.

Perform nice acts daily. “Show your partner that you care with small gestures,” such as a compliment, Dubinsky said. These seemingly small acts make a big difference. Similarly, when your partner does something kind, let them know, she said.

Dream together. “Knowing what you both want out of life and working together to make those dreams a reality will strengthen the bond in your marriage,” Hansen said. Discuss your relationship goals and how you’ll accomplish them at least once a year.

Respect your differences. Partners will always have differences. “The strongest couples manage their differences without becoming over-reactive, and without disengaging from each other,” Rastogi said.

Embrace your partner’s individuality. The idiosyncrasies we once fell in love with can frustrate us today, Hansen said. But it’s important to let your partner be themselves. “To help with this, make a list of all your partner’s positive qualities, characteristics and behaviors,” and keep it on your phone for regular reminders, she said.

Consider counseling. According to Dubinsky, “Too many couples wait until it’s too late or view therapy as sign of failure. Couples therapy can take a strength-based approach to help you identify the strengths in your relationship and help you translate those strengths into areas that are more difficult.”

November 7, 2019 at 6:31 am

Here are the David Grason rules for successful relationships.

Place the needs of your partner ahead of your own. If he/she does the same for you, you both are golden.
Establish a strong trust and NEVER BETRAY IT! This includes cheating.
Never bring pornography into your relationship unless your partner is in to the same stuff. Pornography, IMHO, has ruined far more relationships that people realize. Personally, I don’t look at it for this very reason. Years ago, when I first got married, my wife found my Penthouse magazine. The look of hurt and betrayal on her face made an indelible impression that I still remember to this day. I got rid of that magazine and NEVER DID THAT AGAIN. Pornography is corrosive and toxic to a healthy relationship. In effect, you are telling your partner that he/she is not good enough and that you need the porno to get your satisfaction.
Every time you make a decision, include your partner. Discuss your decisions with your partner ahead of time – ALWAYS! As a man, I sleep well at night knowing that I ALWAYS considered my wife. However, I did not always defer to her desires. That was because there were many times when I could clearly see that what she wanted was not going to work. But I still gave her wishes the proper respect. And when I made a family decision that she didn’t like, I explained my reasons in the nicest possible way. Then I dug in my heels. There were just as many other times when I could see that I was the one making the wrong choice and she had the moral high ground. I had to take the course of humility and go with her decision. If you can’t do that, be prepared for tribulation.
Always be very mindful of the struggles of your partner, even if those struggles are invisible to outsiders. Always support your partner through his/her struggles. Be the rock your partner needs to survive.
Learn your partner’s “hot buttons” and stay the FUCK OFF OF THEM! Only a complete, fucking, dirtbag, mother of all narcissists does a tap dance on them. It is not important how I know this.
NEVER ever disparage your partner and this is ESPECIALLY true in front of outsiders. ALWAYS MAINTAIN A UNITED FRONT! If you cannot do that, don’t get into the relationship. If you disagree on any issue, ask yourself what is more important. Is winning your stupid, petty little argument more important than maintaining your relationship with someone who has agreed to completely change his/her life to accomodate you? To belittle your partner is tantamount to abuse and this includes gaslighting. If you don’t know what “gaslighting” means, google it. To belittle your partner in front of a crowd should, IMHO, carry the damn death penalty and you’re a dirt bag for commiting such a crime. There is nothing in the world that can cause you to lose the respect of all your friends and family faster than if you dress your partner down in public. DON’T EVER DO THAT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Your outside friends will not think that you are being cool or cute. They will see right through your bullshit and take sides with the partner that you are dressing down. Along these same lines, when outsiders ask about your partner, YOU MUST ALWAYS SPEAK OF YOUR PARTNER IN POSITIVE TERMS. Never let others see what is really going on behind closed doors.
In relation to rule 4, don’t ever complain to your friends about your partner. If you have to air your complaints, do it anonymously on Quora. The key word is “anonymous!”
Always be REASONABLE! What is the definition of being reasonable? The David Grason dictionary states that to be reasonable is to maintain a willingness to yield. Think about that. If you are willing to yield, you are defering back to rule 1. Putting your partners needs ahead of your own.
Always nuture, caress, cuddle and support your partner in every way. If you are from a family that never gave hugs, then get used to giving hugs. Give them freely.
Never be jealous of your partner. If you have a jealous nature, do whatever you have to do to control it. This means getting therapy if needed. Trust your partner and when you see your partner talking to someone that you would otherwise feel could threaten your relationship, put a goddamn muzzle in your mouth and keep it shut! Trust your partner up until you actually catch your partner in the act. THEN, and only then, choose what you will do.
Listen to your partner. I don’t mean to patronize your partner by pretending to listen. I mean REALLY LISTEN! Your partner is your world. If your partner bails out of the relationship, your world is going to turn upside down and it’s NOT going to be pleasant. It’s going to hurt a LOT! It is not important how I know that either. Thus, if your partner does indeed bail out, you want to sleep at night guilt free knowing that you honestly did your best. Because if you did NOT do your best, your hurt is going to be worse by tenfold.
Be prepared for your partner to get a brain tumor, cancer, Alheimers, or any other physical malady. Think about how you may have to someday change your partner’s diaper. There is nothing worse than one partner getting deathly sick and the other partner saying something really crass such as, “I just can’t handle this abuse. I’m outta here!” That’s total bullshit.
By the same token, your partner may have severe bi-polar disorder, ADHD, OCD or any number of other emotional disabilities. These only mean that that person really NEEDS you and you will need to be very strong.
I can think of a lot of rules but I think you’re getting the idea. I could go on all night. But, I will finish with this final rule. NEVER, EVER MARRY A NARCISSIST!

November 7, 2019 at 8:32 am

Does she have a scar on her face?

Kiss that scar every day and tell her that she is perfect.

Is he short tempered?

Kiss him when he is angry and tell him that you love him.

Did she put on some weight?

Kiss her tummy and tell her that you love chubby girls.

Is he an introvert?

Kiss his tongue and ask him to speak something, while being naughty.

Is she possessive?

Kiss her in front of the girl whom she hates because she sticks around you a lot.

Is he broken?

Kiss him, hold his hand and tell him that you will be with him forever.

Nobody is perfect.

We all have flaws. We all have insecurities. We all have fears that are residing in our hearts.

I am not flawless.

You are not flawless.

Your partner is not flawless.

Learn to love them, the way they are.

That’s the key to a happy relationship.

November 7, 2019 at 9:36 am

Here are the David Grason rules for successful relationships.

Place the needs of your partner ahead of your own. If he/she does the same for you, you both are golden.
Establish a strong trust and NEVER BETRAY IT! This includes cheating.
Never bring pornography into your relationship unless your partner is in to the same stuff. Pornography, IMHO, has ruined far more relationships that people realize. Personally, I don’t look at it for this very reason. Years ago, when I first got married, my wife found my Penthouse magazine. The look of hurt and betrayal on her face made an indelible impression that I still remember to this day. I got rid of that magazine and NEVER DID THAT AGAIN. Pornography is corrosive and toxic to a healthy relationship. In effect, you are telling your partner that he/she is not good enough and that you need the porno to get your satisfaction.
Every time you make a decision, include your partner. Discuss your decisions with your partner ahead of time – ALWAYS! As a man, I sleep well at night knowing that I ALWAYS considered my wife. However, I did not always defer to her desires. That was because there were many times when I could clearly see that what she wanted was not going to work. But I still gave her wishes the proper respect. And when I made a family decision that she didn’t like, I explained my reasons in the nicest possible way. Then I dug in my heels. There were just as many other times when I could see that I was the one making the wrong choice and she had the moral high ground. I had to take the course of humility and go with her decision. If you can’t do that, be prepared for tribulation.
Always be very mindful of the struggles of your partner, even if those struggles are invisible to outsiders. Always support your partner through his/her struggles. Be the rock your partner needs to survive.
Learn your partner’s “hot buttons” and stay the FUCK OFF OF THEM! Only a complete, fucking, dirtbag, mother of all narcissists does a tap dance on them. It is not important how I know this.
NEVER ever disparage your partner and this is ESPECIALLY true in front of outsiders. ALWAYS MAINTAIN A UNITED FRONT! If you cannot do that, don’t get into the relationship. If you disagree on any issue, ask yourself what is more important. Is winning your stupid, petty little argument more important than maintaining your relationship with someone who has agreed to completely change his/her life to accomodate you? To belittle your partner is tantamount to abuse and this includes gaslighting. If you don’t know what “gaslighting” means, google it. To belittle your partner in front of a crowd should, IMHO, carry the damn death penalty and you’re a dirt bag for commiting such a crime. There is nothing in the world that can cause you to lose the respect of all your friends and family faster than if you dress your partner down in public. DON’T EVER DO THAT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Your outside friends will not think that you are being cool or cute. They will see right through your bullshit and take sides with the partner that you are dressing down. Along these same lines, when outsiders ask about your partner, YOU MUST ALWAYS SPEAK OF YOUR PARTNER IN POSITIVE TERMS. Never let others see what is really going on behind closed doors.
In relation to rule 4, don’t ever complain to your friends about your partner. If you have to air your complaints, do it anonymously on Quora. The key word is “anonymous!”
Always be REASONABLE! What is the definition of being reasonable? The David Grason dictionary states that to be reasonable is to maintain a willingness to yield. Think about that. If you are willing to yield, you are defering back to rule 1. Putting your partners needs ahead of your own.
Always nuture, caress, cuddle and support your partner in every way. If you are from a family that never gave hugs, then get used to giving hugs. Give them freely.
Never be jealous of your partner. If you have a jealous nature, do whatever you have to do to control it. This means getting therapy if needed. Trust your partner and when you see your partner talking to someone that you would otherwise feel could threaten your relationship, put a goddamn muzzle in your mouth and keep it shut! Trust your partner up until you actually catch your partner in the act. THEN, and only then, choose what you will do.
Listen to your partner. I don’t mean to patronize your partner by pretending to listen. I mean REALLY LISTEN! Your partner is your world. If your partner bails out of the relationship, your world is going to turn upside down and it’s NOT going to be pleasant. It’s going to hurt a LOT! It is not important how I know that either. Thus, if your partner does indeed bail out, you want to sleep at night guilt free knowing that you honestly did your best. Because if you did NOT do your best, your hurt is going to be worse by tenfold.
Be prepared for your partner to get a brain tumor, cancer, Alheimers, or any other physical malady. Think about how you may have to someday change your partner’s diaper. There is nothing worse than one partner getting deathly sick and the other partner saying something really crass such as, “I just can’t handle this abuse. I’m outta here!” That’s total bullshit.
By the same token, your partner may have severe bi-polar disorder, ADHD, OCD or any number of other emotional disabilities. These only mean that that person really NEEDS you and you will need to be very strong.
I can think of a lot of rules but I think you’re getting the idea. I could go on all night. But, I will finish with this final rule. NEVER, EVER MARRY A NARCISSIST!