I have practicing deep breathing techniques for a while now and I swear by its effects on calming the mind.
May I dare to say that keep our mobile phone off for major part of the day is the first step towards calm mind!! On a serious note, living in the present and not worrying about future and dwelling of past is the way out.
If you’re an empath and with a narcissist, and the narcissist isn’t able to see themself for what they really are and treat their disorder like alcoholism, then I just don’t see any way to have a healthy relationship. You’ll continue to give all, and the narcissist will continue to take more than you are able to give. Unless the narcissist is actively working in therapy and possibly on medication, then your odds of success are bleak to say the least. As with alcoholism, the first step is to admit you have a problem, and then live day by day, emotion by emotion, decision by decision, reaction by reaction in sobriety. It’s a life long journey that will require therapy, immense dedication, determination and work to keep in check. Everything a narcissist in recovery does requires taking personal accountability with each thought, action and reaction, and when in crisis, having a sponsor to reach out to. When your spouse makes a decision to do something that makes you feel like you are losing control, or you start to spin a false reality about their motives and intentions, you have to have a person to go to who can tell you the hard truth and bring you back to reality. Right now, that person can’t be my spouse, but I hope that someday it will be.
Loving relationships take effort. The experts suggested these tips for making love last.
Manage conflict. In her clinical work and research on happy couples, Dubinsky has found that all couples have conflict. But it’s how they deal with conflict that counts. When a compromise doesn’t seem possible, the key is to manage conflict and fight fair. This includes not hitting below the belt, listening to your partner and speaking clearly and directly, she said. “Resist the urge to bring up prior events that may help you prove your point.” Staying on track prevents an argument from escalating. Consider your partner’s point of view, and how they might interpret yours, she said. ““We don’t have to agree, but we must work to understand.”
Have a strong foundation. “Your interests, opinions and experiences can change as you grow. But if you share the same core belief systems, you will have a platform from which to build a strong relationship,” Rastogi said.
Ask about your partner’s day, and actually listen. “Offering a solution is not always necessary. Listening always is,” Dubinsky said.
Carve out quality time. “This does not have to be an elaborate date or a vacation; sometimes just going to bed a little early, turning off the television, and connecting can go a long way,” Hansen said.
Have your own passions. “We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. It is OK to pursue some separate activities, either individually, or with friends, apart from your partner,” Rastogi said.
Perform nice acts daily. “Show your partner that you care with small gestures,” such as a compliment, Dubinsky said. These seemingly small acts make a big difference. Similarly, when your partner does something kind, let them know, she said.
Dream together. “Knowing what you both want out of life and working together to make those dreams a reality will strengthen the bond in your marriage,” Hansen said. Discuss your relationship goals and how you’ll accomplish them at least once a year.
Respect your differences. Partners will always have differences. “The strongest couples manage their differences without becoming over-reactive, and without disengaging from each other,” Rastogi said.
Embrace your partner’s individuality. The idiosyncrasies we once fell in love with can frustrate us today, Hansen said. But it’s important to let your partner be themselves. “To help with this, make a list of all your partner’s positive qualities, characteristics and behaviors,” and keep it on your phone for regular reminders, she said.
Consider counseling. According to Dubinsky, “Too many couples wait until it’s too late or view therapy as sign of failure. Couples therapy can take a strength-based approach to help you identify the strengths in your relationship and help you translate those strengths into areas that are more difficult.”
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