Author Posts

October 26, 2018 at 8:38 am

How does one overcome emotional detachment/numbness?

October 26, 2018 at 8:41 am

When people pass away or have an accident right in front of me, I do not feel anything at all. Even when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, I didn’t feel anything.

October 26, 2018 at 8:43 am

Hearing what you’re saying it sounds like you’re probably very analytical by nature, and there might or might not be an emotional barrier inside you that is influencing the way you express your emotions.

There is a difference between having a low intensity of emotions and lack of emotions. Low intensity just means that you feel emotions, but just not as much as the person beside you. They want to celebrate over a promote, and you just want a cup of Starbucks. Lack of emotions is where there is blockage of emotions. It’s tough to identify it unless you are looking for it, but you can definitely feel the difference.

October 26, 2018 at 8:45 am

To have emotions is to be human. Regardless of what type of personality you have, we all still need to learn how to manage your emotions. If you haven’t gotten much chance to feel emotions or let your body experience the full sensation of emotions, you might not be comfortable with it.

October 26, 2018 at 8:47 am

I also had the same problem and the cause was a caffeine withdrawal. I use to drink 5/6 espressos every second or even every day plus couple of teas. Under influence of coffee I felt mighty and well (increased sex drive, memory, talkative, socializing, motivated, enhanced emotions, energized). But once coffee wears off my body it was opposite and it could last many days. The remedy was to start the coffee again. The most strange and weird effect of coffee withdrawal was very unusual symptom: emotional numbness. It was the reason that I have quit the coffee. But the symptoms have not resolved after many months being off the coffee (specially emotional numbness). After studying this phenomena I decided to try HDAC inhibitor (sodium valproate). After a couple of days of taking it I was normal again. Now every time I drink coffee or especially eat any amount of chocolate the emotional numbness/lack of motivation occur once the substances are off my body. i have to wait a couple of days to be normal again.

Do the experiment. Drink few espressos along with chocolate and if emotional numbness symptoms getting better consider that caffeine might be a cause.

October 26, 2018 at 8:57 am

it starts by your asking how to overcome emotional detachment and numbness.

I’ve been through my own process, and you’re in the middle of yours. As many people as there are in the world, there are that many ways of getting through it and past it. Go seek out a therapist, counselor, mental health professional, minister, or social worker.

Start the talk, then don’t stop until you get past what you need to get past. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help and getting it.

It’s SO worth it.

Those days of Old School thought that maintained an unhealthy attitude that maintaining one’s mental health was an unhealthy, secretive thing to do are going gone.

New School thought cares about and loves the whole person, expects problems, and understands mistakes are life’s lessons in action being learned in real time.

October 26, 2018 at 8:59 am

You learn by slowly practicing little trust, and then building it up to big trust.

This just means cultivating discernment about what particular people can be trusted to do.

To use and extreme example for the sake of clarity, you can trust your mailman to deliver the mail, but not to coparent your child. In a similar vein, you can trust a university professor to teach a class, but not to fly a plane (unless they also happen to be able to do that–but that is very rare).

People’s behavior over time will teach you what they can and cannot be trusted to do. For instance, a particular friend may be trusted to go out drinking on a Friday night, but not to help you if you ever need anything. Knowing that, you don’t call that friend when you really need something; you only call them when you’re going out drinking. You match your expectations to reality. Do this for long enough, and you will rarely be disappointed in people because you won’t be trusting them with things they have demonstrated that they are unable or unwilling to do.

Practice with little things at first. Your colleagues show up to work mostly every day, mostly on time. Your public transportation can be counted on a high percentage of the time to get you where you need to go. Someone who said you could call them actually picks up the phone. When you meet a new person, don’t just dive into a friendship or relationship–be kind to them and get to know them slowly; let them show you who they are. Adjust your expectations to the other person’s patterns of behavior and priorities in life. Trust must be earned and built over time.

There will likely be very few people you trust with major things in your life–perhaps no one at all. That’s ok. But that doesn’t mean you can’t love people, be happy, and trust people with the small to medium things in your life. Being wise about whom and how you trust will heal you over time.