Author Posts

August 19, 2019 at 6:42 pm

Crying release stress and is a sign of humanity. It cannot be said to make anyone weak emotionally.

August 19, 2019 at 6:43 pm

Charles Dickens has rightly said “we should never be ashamed of our tears”. Crying, if left unchecked, will have negative effects on the body.

September 27, 2019 at 12:10 pm

Hearing what you’re saying it sounds like you’re probably very analytical by nature, and there might or might not be an emotional barrier inside you that is influencing the way you express your emotions.

November 7, 2019 at 6:47 am

You really don’t want this. If others can’t convince you maybe I can. Growing up I was a very sensitive kid and cried at the smallest thing, maybe just someone looking at me funny, this went on for a and only one girl ever talked to me or was nice to me. Long story short, I moved away, got my heart broken and felt like shit. I didn’t have any friends, and had troubles at home. I thought about suicide often (though I don’t think I’d have actually tried anything) and I wished I could just stop feeling, and over the course of about a year, I did. I don’t cry any more, I don’t feel empathy for others. I’m not evil or something, I get angry when I hear about child abuse or murders, but I don’t feel sympathy. Just today my girlfriend was a mess in tears because her parents are divorcing. I comforted her and tired to make her feel better, but I didn’t feel any connection, in fact at times I just wished she’d stop because her sobbing was annoying. Today I realized, I don’t love her and I never really have. I care about her safety and don’t want to hurt her, but I have no connection to her and I never have. Listen from someone who doesn’t feel, what ever you’re going through, it must suck, I could relate, but you don’t want this. I constantly wonder, whats wrong with me? Am I a sociopath? I wasn’t born like this, it was the opposite. I miss the feeling of love, the feeling of sadness. Don’t try to lose it, you’ll quickly regret it.

November 7, 2019 at 8:15 am

You learn by slowly practicing little trust, and then building it up to big trust.

This just means cultivating discernment about what particular people can be trusted to do.

To use and extreme example for the sake of clarity, you can trust your mailman to deliver the mail, but not to coparent your child. In a similar vein, you can trust a university professor to teach a class, but not to fly a plane (unless they also happen to be able to do that–but that is very rare).

People’s behavior over time will teach you what they can and cannot be trusted to do. For instance, a particular friend may be trusted to go out drinking on a Friday night, but not to help you if you ever need anything. Knowing that, you don’t call that friend when you really need something; you only call them when you’re going out drinking. You match your expectations to reality. Do this for long enough, and you will rarely be disappointed in people because you won’t be trusting them with things they have demonstrated that they are unable or unwilling to do.

Practice with little things at first. Your colleagues show up to work mostly every day, mostly on time. Your public transportation can be counted on a high percentage of the time to get you where you need to go. Someone who said you could call them actually picks up the phone. When you meet a new person, don’t just dive into a friendship or relationship–be kind to them and get to know them slowly; let them show you who they are. Adjust your expectations to the other person’s patterns of behavior and priorities in life. Trust must be earned and built over time.

There will likely be very few people you trust with major things in your life–perhaps no one at all. That’s ok. But that doesn’t mean you can’t love people, be happy, and trust people with the small to medium things in your life. Being wise about whom and how you trust will heal you over time.

November 7, 2019 at 9:22 am

Nobody here understood what you mean, literally not one person. I have it the same after 16 years of chronic depression, I too am detached and numb, trying so hard to feel. All I feel is anxiety and occasional anger. Makes it very hard to connect with people and ladies, because you on one hand would love to feel it, on the other hand you don’t feel anything and it doesn’t work. Psychopathy is not ruled out in our case, at least partial, as I score around 50/50 on levenson (psycho/socio), however I do know my feelings were alright before depression climbed on me, thus I believe psychopathy test results are to blame on numbness itself. As to how to overcome it – I have no clue. Tried therapist + various antidepressants, no dice. In my view it is self-defensive mechanism that protects you from hurt, which probably happened to you at one point, or during longer time period. Maybe you searched for love and fell in it, then lost it, then again.. again.. again.. then you ended up in this state. It might be even adaptation for all I know.

November 7, 2019 at 11:25 am

No wonder I hear you

I do believe that our emotions are there to highlight make us aware, alert to past hurts triggers, in our understanding of life passing when you go numb its like a shutdown or they have gone numb and that also is our form of self protection over the years all these patterns, fears have put on hold

To me that’s only happened twice in my life, when going through extreme stress with two incidents out of my control, I went numb for quite a long term I paid a visit to the doctor, first I got help with medicine and to me that made it alot worst,

talking made me a little better, getting help, a long time and patience

Whenever your ready get some help, its understandable that grief or shock could numb you’re feelings, maybe you’re a well balanced emotionally it sounds to me like you wonder why, especially the even your break up you didn’t feel anything with this it makes me wonder that you were already having issues

Maybe we over analysis too much too, maybe logic sometimes to put them on hold, maybe our body needs too go on with its daily automatic actions while our thoughts are too distressing, overwhelming maybe this is a period of self protection healing maybe

Its talking to a professional may make things clearer for you

I’m a believer that time and patience is a healer too, and with that its maybe time when you start valuing things again

As in you did love your ex just that time, the breakup had little effect due to all the hurt you were going through already so the impact was lessened to numb the hurt

I feel for you i understand I hear you

I hope you find your answer all the best to you take care