Author Posts

November 7, 2019 at 12:23 pm

Looks like you dont care too much about other people. Do you care about yourself? That could be the root issue here. Have you got self confidence issues? Do you value yourself? Depending on the answers you should start from the inside to the outside. Fixing any internal issues on this personal relationship with yourself will help relating to others. Try loving yourself more as a starting point. Then continue loving others starting with family and then friends. Good luck!

November 22, 2019 at 5:16 am

I think it’s par for the course, part of the grieving process.

First you were numb and shut off from the full raw horror.

Then the numbness, that temporary protective shield, dissipates like fog on a sunny morning, but it’s not a sunny morning to you; it’s the full darkness.

It’s a long uphill journey and, like most uphill journeys, there are the dips you don’t see coming until you’re in them that make the journey longer.

But you will get there!

December 20, 2019 at 11:19 am

Healthy detachment does not mean complete disengagement as other answers have suggested. It’s just less ENTANGLED and dependent. It starts with the realization no matter how connected the relationship may be, people are still going to make their own choices for their own reasons.

January 28, 2020 at 10:35 am

It’s generally held as a truth that human beings must experience emotion in order to be healthy. And as emotion is hard-wired into us as the primary motivator to act, if you take any action then you are experiencing emotion at some level.

Dissociation is what we all do when we try to push away some feeling or another. Sociopaths do this to an extreme level. But it’s really not something they do on purpose. It’s a habit. It’s built up over years of abuse as the only possible defense against the hostility.

January 29, 2020 at 6:52 am

• Numbness.
Now we can work on the switch of emotions.
Initially, just let yourself feel. No matter which emotion, feel and let it go. Depression takes you towards numbness and we need to avoid that.
Always remember that you cannot control your emotions but you can regulate them.
We are going to do the work of antidepressants, without the antidepressants.
That gain in your concentration will be used here.
When you concentrate on one thing (a video, article, work, anything) it gives you a certain feeling.
> Don’t run. Stop, concentrate and feel. Even if you are taking a normal walk and feel the sunshine, ask yourself with everything… how is it making you feel? Name the emotion out loud, every time.
> Take a deep breath right now and tell yourself loudly, what are you grateful for? (even if you don’t have anything more than oxygen)
> After you finish something that made you feel sad, try to choose the little things that give you the drops of joy, that’s what will increase the flow of happy hormones.
This might help…
What is basic duty of wife in a happy marriage life?
What is basic duty of wife in a happy marriage life?
Whatever you think is the basic duty of a husband!!

February 14, 2020 at 4:56 am

You learn by slowly practicing little trust, and then building it up to big trust.

This just means cultivating discernment about what particular people can be trusted to do.

To use and extreme example for the sake of clarity, you can trust your mailman to deliver the mail, but not to coparent your child. In a similar vein, you can trust a university professor to teach a class, but not to fly a plane (unless they also happen to be able to do that–but that is very rare).

People’s behavior over time will teach you what they can and cannot be trusted to do. For instance, a particular friend may be trusted to go out drinking on a Friday night, but not to help you if you ever need anything. Knowing that, you don’t call that friend when you really need something; you only call them when you’re going out drinking. You match your expectations to reality. Do this for long enough, and you will rarely be disappointed in people because you won’t be trusting them with things they have demonstrated that they are unable or unwilling to do.

Practice with little things at first. Your colleagues show up to work mostly every day, mostly on time. Your public transportation can be counted on a high percentage of the time to get you where you need to go. Someone who said you could call them actually picks up the phone. When you meet a new person, don’t just dive into a friendship or relationship–be kind to them and get to know them slowly; let them show you who they are. Adjust your expectations to the other person’s patterns of behavior and priorities in life. Trust must be earned and built over time.

There will likely be very few people you trust with major things in your life–perhaps no one at all. That’s ok. But that doesn’t mean you can’t love people, be happy, and trust people with the small to medium things in your life. Being wise about whom and how you trust will heal you over time.

February 20, 2020 at 8:46 am

Hearing what you’re saying it sounds like you’re probably very analytical by nature, and there might or might not be an emotional barrier inside you that is influencing the way you express your emotions.
There is a difference between having a low intensity of emotions and lack of emotions. Low intensity just means that you feel emotions, but just not as much as the person beside you. They want to celebrate over a promote, and you just want a cup of Starbucks. Lack of emotions is where there is blockage of emotions. It’s tough to identify it unless you are looking for it, but you can definitely feel the difference.