Author Posts

November 7, 2019 at 9:05 am

Massively late to this A2A but did not want to let it pass …
Have you considered the possibility that you are keeping yourself from experiencing painful emotions – I couldn’t help but notice you only mention this type of emotions – as an unconscious ‘withdrawal mechanism’? You might have done it early on as a reaction to a particularly painful event in your life and it somehow ‘stuck’ with you to the point where now it’s part of your personality make-up? I’m no psychologist but I have observed myself, and a few people close to me, detach emotionally, and it almost always is done to avoid some sort of pain: rejection, grief, fear, loss, shame … Pay particular attention to this last one, it’s the most hidden yet the most toxic. Maybe somewhere along the way you internalized the message that it’s not ‘manly’ to show such emotions, and might have been ashamed when you did. I saw this with too many men not to know it’s real – many cover it with an angry outburst, for you it could be numbness.
How to overcome it, you ask. I wouldn’t struggle to overcome anything by force. Just increase your awareness of what triggers it, think about possible reasons, and try to give yourself permission to react to whatever everyday’s life is throwing at you. The fact that your girlfriends tell you this is a problem doesn’t make it a problem. You judge if and when it’s becoming a problem. You can still show empathy without being flooded by emotion – you’re just not a very emotional person (like so many men). If you deem it as impairing, with your well developed rational mind, you’ll work on finding the reason and fixing the problem. I’m your complete opposite, by the way, but even I become emotionally numb at times. For me it’s a blessing when I manage to do that. See, it’s not all gloom and doom. And while you’re working on it, why don’t you allow yourself to experience more joy and hope too?

November 7, 2019 at 11:23 am

In the comment section you say you seem not to feel anything at all anymore. But you recall feeling anger/rage but no fear in the past.
I suggest you reach out for counselling if you can afford it.
A decrease in your feelings perception, or the inexistence of the capacity to feel love or joy or a minimum of compassion at all might be the sign of a very strong imbalance somewhere.
It could be linked to your psyche, your education, your past, conscious or unconscious traumas, hormones…
This might challenge you in the future. Either for your personal life, either for your professional life. In the extremes, people who will be able to approach and analyse you a tad will run away from you or observe you or you will hurt people without understanding it is wrong.
Unveiling your past to a professional and/or a rebalance of the chemicals in your brain is most of the time solving everything.

November 7, 2019 at 12:32 pm

I think humans have capacity or limit of everything in terms of emotions. God gave all human separate power, emotions, talents and heart. some are sensitive they become weak easily some are tough they take time to break, and some are very tough . when limit crosses in any situation then often emotions are not in control in terms of tears, anger, or any thing which are life to you.