Author Posts

November 7, 2019 at 9:05 am

Massively late to this A2A but did not want to let it pass …
Have you considered the possibility that you are keeping yourself from experiencing painful emotions – I couldn’t help but notice you only mention this type of emotions – as an unconscious ‘withdrawal mechanism’? You might have done it early on as a reaction to a particularly painful event in your life and it somehow ‘stuck’ with you to the point where now it’s part of your personality make-up? I’m no psychologist but I have observed myself, and a few people close to me, detach emotionally, and it almost always is done to avoid some sort of pain: rejection, grief, fear, loss, shame … Pay particular attention to this last one, it’s the most hidden yet the most toxic. Maybe somewhere along the way you internalized the message that it’s not ‘manly’ to show such emotions, and might have been ashamed when you did. I saw this with too many men not to know it’s real – many cover it with an angry outburst, for you it could be numbness.
How to overcome it, you ask. I wouldn’t struggle to overcome anything by force. Just increase your awareness of what triggers it, think about possible reasons, and try to give yourself permission to react to whatever everyday’s life is throwing at you. The fact that your girlfriends tell you this is a problem doesn’t make it a problem. You judge if and when it’s becoming a problem. You can still show empathy without being flooded by emotion – you’re just not a very emotional person (like so many men). If you deem it as impairing, with your well developed rational mind, you’ll work on finding the reason and fixing the problem. I’m your complete opposite, by the way, but even I become emotionally numb at times. For me it’s a blessing when I manage to do that. See, it’s not all gloom and doom. And while you’re working on it, why don’t you allow yourself to experience more joy and hope too?

November 7, 2019 at 11:23 am

In the comment section you say you seem not to feel anything at all anymore. But you recall feeling anger/rage but no fear in the past.
I suggest you reach out for counselling if you can afford it.
A decrease in your feelings perception, or the inexistence of the capacity to feel love or joy or a minimum of compassion at all might be the sign of a very strong imbalance somewhere.
It could be linked to your psyche, your education, your past, conscious or unconscious traumas, hormones…
This might challenge you in the future. Either for your personal life, either for your professional life. In the extremes, people who will be able to approach and analyse you a tad will run away from you or observe you or you will hurt people without understanding it is wrong.
Unveiling your past to a professional and/or a rebalance of the chemicals in your brain is most of the time solving everything.

November 7, 2019 at 12:32 pm

I think humans have capacity or limit of everything in terms of emotions. God gave all human separate power, emotions, talents and heart. some are sensitive they become weak easily some are tough they take time to break, and some are very tough . when limit crosses in any situation then often emotions are not in control in terms of tears, anger, or any thing which are life to you.

November 22, 2019 at 5:13 am

I will answer this question with brutal honesty and suggest that your bad logic and problem solving skills may be a lifetime problem that you cannot overcome. Many people, despite being smart and educated, still have problems with basic mental tasks like focus, concentration, memory, spatial awareness, emotional awareness, or logical problem solving. This is perfectly normal, people make up for these deficits by playing to their strengths, which is why different people think in very different ways.

If you have identified that you have a problem with logical problem solving then you are doing okay, but setting a goal to improve yourself through hard work and practice may only set you up for failure and discouragement. Imagine someone who is dyslexic asking, “How can I improve my bad reading comprehension?” and someone told them “Practice reading more.” This would not help some with a fundamental reading challenge, it would only make them feel worse.

In some cases working harder does not help, you need to find alternative strategies to overcome your specific problem solving skills. Talk with friends or a specialist to identify the specific areas where you are having problems; sequencing, prioritizing data, memory, manipulating data, following patterns, and so on. And when you find yourself struggling with that area, ask for help. Over time you will learn to find that blind spot and work around it. Use the thinking that works best for you, ask for help, don’t worry about being bad at something. We are all bad at some things.

December 20, 2019 at 11:16 am

I still remember my first ever speaking venture. It was around 6 years back and was a debate. I strutted to the mic and delivered an extremely SLOPPY speech. The judges heavily criticized me and people did mock.

January 28, 2020 at 10:38 am

There is always emotion.

This question is a desire. It reflects regret, self reflection, and a need to be better.

And as logical and Vulcan we think our cool thinking selves to be, we’re always happy to be right, and offended when we’re wrong.

Debates tend to be emotional. That’s because both sides are wanting to be right and not wanting to be wrong. Most people can’t let go of their subjective selves for emotional reasons.

January 29, 2020 at 5:41 am

I used to address situations with emotions, until I found out about their reality. I used to believe that I could do well for Geography and History if I understood them, rather than memorised. I wanted so badly to give my country’s education system a chance to prove that school wasn’t all memorisation and no understanding, but that was simply not the case. My emotions told me that humanities subjects could be understood and not memorised. But logical thinking told me that I had to memorise large chunks of content in order to do well.