Competence Builds Confidence
I can help you with both building your confidence and over coming depression which are both separate and connected issues.
I am going to assume that you mean confidence around people and in conversations.
There are a few reasons that could be leading to this.
Reason 1: You think low of yourself/ negative self talk
Listen, you are a human being. You are biologically designed to communicate. Even if you are bad at it right now if you stay at it you can do nothing but get better and better. You are not the one special unfortunate person that does not have this gift. Everyone has it in them. Just stop telling yourself your not good enough, you are.
Reason 2: You care what other people think to much
The same reason you care what other people think is the same reason you shouldn’t. Everybody cares about this, in fact they care about this so much that they barley have time to even think about you. They are far to busy thinking about how they can look cool than to care about you. When you talk to people don’t do it to impress them. Do it because you want to enjoy yourself, don’t be thinking about the out come of what your going to say. Just have pleasant conversation and don’t be rude.
Reason 3: You don’t know what you are doing
This right here should be your number one priority. Think about the word confident. It means that you are sure in your abilities. That you KNOW that you can handle this. If you have never handled the situation before how are you going to be confident in it? If you are confident and you have never done it before then you are just delusional. I would recommend that you get the book How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie or just find the audio book in YouTube or something. Reading this will give you a good understanding on how people want to be treated. But the main thing that you will want to do is get practice being in situations that you are uncomfortable in until you become comfortable in them. The reason confident people seem so confident is simply because they have done it a lot of times. Trust me they didn’t look so good their first time around. So get some experience under your belt.
If you are depressed it is because you have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Being depressed and being sad are very different. If you are really depressed you know the feeling. Foggy brain, no motivation to do anything, negative thoughts.
Here are some things you can do about this.
Beat your addictions!
You are probably addicted to something. Maybe not the stereo typical things like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. You are more likely addicted to video games, porn, social media, Netflix.
What happens when you use these things to often is they overly stimulate your dopamine which makes your brain produce less and less dopamine over time and start only producing it when you are doing those specific task that you are addicted to. Low dopamine=depression
When you wake up in the mornings after you take a hot shower rinse with cold water for 2–3 minutes. Cold water has been a proven method in dealing with depression and it has worked for me. It will be very hard and painful at first but the feeling when you can just turn that knob with ease is amazing. That feeling itself will help your depression.
Your brain needs to feel like it is doing things every day that are benefiting you and pushing you forward. Staying busy is a key element to beating depression.
Make a pact with yourself that you are going to actually do what you say you are going to do. Building this trust in yourself will make a happy person. Every time you think of slacking off just remember that you are responsible for bringing yourself out of this rut and no one else. Remember that the actions you take are going to be the thing that saves your life.
Identify whats important to you and start improving those things. Write down your goals if that is helpful but start moving forward every day.
This can help you out of depression if you use it the right way. Don’t overdue it but this can really help you.
You can try drinking coffee, taking a supplement calleD Opti Mind or Apha Brain.
If you have ADD or ADHD you can get a prescription for Adderal (this can be abused, be careful, listen to your doctor)
Overall you just need something to look forward to and life doesn’t always just hand that out to people. Find something you can do to make yourself feel useful.
If you found this helpful check out my free e-book: How to be smarter than your friends | and join my mailing list.
Five years ago, I wanted to die.
I remember driving to work and considering putting my car over the bridge with me in it.
I was clinically depressed and felt like my life could never get better.
I had no hope.
Until I made 5 simple changes.
After implementing these 5 shifts into my life, I went from depressed, broke, and hopeless to living the life of my dreams, building a 7-figure business, building my dream body, and getting into an amazing relationship with a beautiful woman.
It didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t easy.
But if you’re willing to take action and be patient, you can beat depression and build your dream life.
It is undeniable fact that one has to face depression or underwhelming circumstances in life but remember!! such situations are not the end of the world but are intended to give an even better opportunity.
Depression can be combat in a variety of ways, first and foremost is challenging negativity. Stop even thinking about if I had done that this wouldn’t have happened, please stop!! Indulge in the activities that make you feel happy and contented, never let yourself free to think about past and worry about unseen future (but don’t forget to evaluate the consequences when about to make an important decision in life).
Ensure strong bonding with your family and friends and always try to find a company that boost up your morale and confidence and cultivate optimism. Consume foods that increase the level of Serotonin (a chemical agent in body which is supposed to elevate the mood), for instance banana, chocolate, ice creme etc.
If one doesn’t feel comfortable discussing his problem to a friend or a family member, a visit to psychologist or psychiatrist can be made.
Try to get praises…boosts your level of confidence. Most of my work is well received by lot of people. I don’t try to do my 100% in a job, I try to earn a pat on the back in every job I do. That ends up in me doing more than 100%.
Depression isn’t like an illness you overcome once and then forget about. For example, if you’ve had chicken pox once as a kid, and you’ve recovered safely, then you don’t have to worry about it later. It is unlikely that you’ll get chicken pox again, because your body developed a resistance. (I’m not a doctor, so the analogy might be a little off, but you get the idea.)
Now, say you want to loose X pounds. You change your lifestyle: you exercise regularly, eat healthy stuff, drink more water, etc. You keep things in check. And if you do it long enough, you will lose those pesky X pounds you wanted to get rid of.
Does this mean that you can stop exercising and eat whatever you want? No, because then you’ll gain back the weight you’ve lost. You can’t simply forget about it once you’ve reached your desired goal – you’ll have to work constantly to stay balanced.
Same goes for depression. You cannot overcome it because there’s nothing to overcome. It’s something for you to regulate and watch over. The same way you wash your hair, cut your nails, clean the house, from time to time (at the very least!) you have to have some self-reflection and say: “Oh, there is some stuff I have to take care of right now, and it can’t wait any longer.”
And obviously, medical help is a given. I don’t take meds personally, but my therapist helps me untangle the mess I have in my life. Seeking help doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means that you’re smart enough to recognize a problem you can’t solve on your own, and brave enough to ask for support.
We all do this to some level when emotions become too much for us. Dissociation is normal and even healthy as a coping mechanism when it’s used as a temporary measure. Dealing with our emotions takes energy! That’s why we feel exhausted after a good cry.
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