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October 12, 2018 at 7:46 am

How not to give into peer pressure?

October 13, 2018 at 10:19 pm

Try using the following strategies:

– Give yourself permission to avoid people or situations that don’t feel right and leave a situation that becomes uncomfortable. Work on setting boundaries. It’s OK for you to do what is best for you.

– Check in with yourself. Ask, “How am I feeling about this?” “Does this seem right to me?” “What are the pros and cons of making this decision?”

– Recognize unhealthy dynamics: It’s not OK for others to pressure, force, or trick you into doing things you don’t want to or for others to make threats if you don’t give in. It’s not OK for others to mock, belittle, shame, or criticize you for your choices. You can ask others to stop these behaviors, or you can choose to avoid spending time with people who act in these ways.

– Spend time with people who respect your decisions and won’t put unfair pressure on you to conform.

– Remember that you can’t (and don’t have to) please everyone or be liked by everyone. This can be hard to accept, but it helps to try.

– When people or situations that make you feel pressured are not avoidable, try the “delay tactic”: Give yourself time to think about your decision instead of giving an immediate answer: “Let me think about that,” “Can I get back to you?” or “Check back with me in an hour.”

– When you can’t avoid or delay a pressure-filled situation, practice saying “No thanks” or just “No!” If “no” feels uncomfortable, practice using other responses, such as “Not today,” “Maybe another time,” or “Thanks, but I can’t.”

– It’s OK to use an excuse if the truth is too challenging. For example, if someone offers you a drink and you want to say no but feel awkward, say you’re on medication or have to get up early the next day.

– Take a friend who supports you along if you are going to be in a pressure-filled situation and let them know what your intentions are (e.g., “I don’t want to drink, so if you see me about to, remind me that I wanted to stay sober”).

– Stand up for others when you see them being pressured. “Bystander intervention” (stepping in to help out when you see someone in trouble) can be an effective way to support others and send a message. If you don’t feel comfortable directly confronting the person doing the pressuring, try distracting them or inviting the person being pressured to do something else (e.g., “Hey, come to the ladies room with me” or “Let’s go over there and take a selfie”).

– Ask for advice or support from a parent or other trusted family member, a clergy person, a mentor, or a counselor if you need it.

October 13, 2018 at 10:23 pm

Manging peer pressure is usually not that difficult if you are only surrounded by people whose values, preferences, and behaviors are similar to yours. However, in a college environment, it’s very likely that you will meet people with a wide variety of attitudes and behaviors. At times, it may feel easy to know where you stand and act accordingly, but at other times, you might feel confused, pressured, or tempted to act against your own judgment. What’s more, college may be a time when you are away from home and family with more freedom to make your own choices than before. You might even feel a desire to do things your family doesn’t do or doesn’t think are OK as a way to establish your own identity and try new things. Again, it’s important to reflect on what you think is important, your values, and who you want to be. It’s also good to try and think ahead to potential consequences of an action. If you go with the crowd and do something you might not have considered before, what will happen? Could there be a negative outcome? Could you feel bad about yourself for acting against your values or judgment? All important considerations!

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Ravi Nigam.

September 27, 2019 at 5:20 am

Follow some rules for that :

Start preparing silently. Except few, no body will know about your preparations.
Make a weekly time schedule that how many hours you should give for your silent preparation and after that divide that figure by 7, so that you could get number of hours per day. Achieve it!!
Don’t get indulge too much in the social media like facebook & twitter. Use this for once a week, but don’t neglect it purely.
Stay away from relatives, school or college friends and try to avoid them as much as possible.
Meet when needed like in festival seasons and when somebody asks,” what are you doing?” Simply put a smile and says firmly, “ Nothing and searching for something better”.
Listen everybody advice specially parents and then don’t react, just keep quiet – Not so easy thing!!
Don’t change your ambitions when you see that your friends are enjoying, buying cars or homes, spent the vacations in some hill stations part of India and many more such things.
Be precise to your strategy and tactics and just ignore the rest of world because Strategy is the force to run a plan and tactic is the counterforce.
You must be silent in your actions because as per Chanayaka- civil servants are like the fishes in the ocean which we don’t know whether they are breathing or not.

September 27, 2019 at 7:21 am

We always choose the person we intend to love. But rarely does someone else chooses us.

With this buddy let me tell you story of my dear friend.

He was deeply madly, head over heels with his childhood friend and later his girlfriend.

It was a match made in heaven. What else can we expect but happiness from the couple whom we had known through out our lives.

But due to some unforseen reason the girl decides to part ways and doesn’t find it necessary to disclose the reason for the breakup. It was the most embarrassing break up sorry I heard my entire life.

My friend was heart broken and miserable. I saw him shed tears. She wouldn’t budge.

He came out the sorrow and went on with his life. His parents chose a girl for him. He said yes to the girl.

With in a week they got engaged. In two months they were to be married.

A week before the marriage his EX decides to call him and asks hind to run away with him. She tells him how much she likes him.

WOW.

Then my friend did the most sensible thing in his entire life.

He told her to go spoil some one else’s life.

He had given his fiance a commitment, which he will honor.

Rest is history.

At the end of the story I can tell you that I was damn impressed by my friend.

In the same way you too have given your commitment to your fiance.

So dude give her all the happiness she deserves and forget the past. For past has happened and future is the one which you can shape.

Happy Courtship period to you!

September 27, 2019 at 8:34 am

My husband was 11 years older than me.

Advantages:

He was more settled, had a steady job for nearly ten years.
He was not jealous.
When we got pregnant he was ready.
Financially he was secure and had savings
He understood when I was going through phases, like wanting to go out dancing and having a drink or two, although he didn’t dance, we went out.
He didn’t have to learn how to take care of a home, he was a jack of all trades, but master of none.
Disadvantages:
Although he rarely was sick and took minimal medications, he died at age 66, neither of us were prepared for death, I thought we probably had a good ten years left together .
As he got older he became more hard headed in what he believed and it was harder to talk about things. Either he couldn’t or wouldn’t see anyone else’s point of view.
He was my husband, lover, best friend and my champion.

September 27, 2019 at 8:40 am

Peer pressure is something everyone will succumb to to “fit in” with their peers. If you fit in with the people around you, you end up feeling part of a tribe of people who support each other-which is rarely the case.