I call it The Third Person Rule-
Well, it’s pretty simple.
The rule states that when ever you are in a situation that is completely invading your mind and restricting you to think wisely, just stop there. Now assume that you are some third person( a bystander) who is watching someone caught in the very same situation. Now is your time to think.
Is the situation he is caught in really that serious.
Many a times, we create a mountain out of a mole hill because either the person attached to such situations is close to us, or maybe we are not able to overcome our own barriers.
Hope it works just fine for you!
You’re not dependent, that’s right.
However, physical dependency only rears its ugly head in the final stage of alcoholism.
The previous stages are more subtle, and include tolerance (you need more alcohol to achieve the same high) and loss of control (drinking one is never enough, you keep on drinking).
While you’re not in the final stage of alcoholism, you do have a serious drinking problem. This puts you at a high risk of progressing towards a full blown addiction.
The good news is: you’re not in the final stage yet. If you act now, you can get out of it without (too much) permanent damage. You need to find a way to keep your drinking under control. If it doesn’t work, you may need to consider quitting completely, and go from there.
Take care and don’t let alcohol take over.
I was a heavy drinker for over 30 years. The day my wife left me she said I was an alcoholic. Even though she left, I still quit.
I decided to quit “cold turkey.” I told a friend of my plan. He said I should start eating jelly beans. Every time I wanted a drink, eat jelly beans.
The first few days after I stopped drinking were hard. I grabbed a handful of jelly beans every time I wanted a drink.My face looked like a chipmunk or a squirrel with a mouth full of nuts.
Gradually my taste for alcohol went away. Experts think I am more compulsive than a true alcoholic. All I can say is I drank morning, noon, and night.
I gained over 100lbs and learned the proper way to loose weight. I lost every pound I gained. I still have a sweet tooth but am able to control it.
I think about all the times I drove drunk. I could have killed myself or someone else. I never received one DWI. I should have received 100. I remember the blackouts. I remember having no memory how I drove home. I remember my sons finding me in the driveway hanging out of my door. I remember going to the bathroom next to my bed, thinking I was in the bathroom. I remember the look of disgust on my wife’s face. I am still ashamed of myself.
If you think you have an alcohol problem, you do. If you drink like I did, you can’t drink moderately.
I go to bars all the time with friends, I always say, “ I’ll have your best 7-up.”
I have no desire to drink. I quit 20 years ago and I’ll die sober.
This is MY way of quitting drinking. There are many ways to stop. Do what’s best for you. Stopping drinking is what’s important.
I’m of the mindset that there is more harm than good in drinking alcohol. I used to drink, it started turning into a problem, I quit drinking, and I don’t miss it.
I was a blackout drinker, Like you, I had no stopping mechanism I would just keep going until i practically became a different person, a person not many people liked, a person i didn’t much like, although I didn’t care so much because I didn’t remember what had happened, and alot of the times especially in the earlier days I used to think it was funny.
But there is nothing funny about it, The amount of times I blacked out from drinking scares me to think about it now, I consider myself extremely lucky to be alive and extremely lucky I didn’t do any serious harm to anyone else.
I drank for 15 years, and 10 of those years I had a great amount of fun, 3 of those years i was starting to worry and though I may have a problem, and 2 of those years were complete hell, as I new I had a problem wanted to stop but had no idea how to life my life without alcohol.
Ask yourself this question, do you see your life benefiting from alcohol?
You have clearly noticed something early on in your drinking career, something that obviously doesn’t sit well with you, but only you can answer the question you have asked. Only you can make the decision to stop drinking.
I will leave on this note however, It took me 10 years to even start thinking I had a drinking problem and I drank very similarly to what you have described from the get go, If I could go back to 7 months into my drinking career and know what I know now, and I was asking myself the same question you have asked here. I know what my answer would be.
Good luck mate.
The Alcoholic Entrepreneur
In answer to the question; how has my life changed:
I didn’t wake up every morning feeling like shit anymore.
Warning – may contain triggers
I am an alcoholic.
When I have one beer, although I will drink it slow, I will want another one directly afterwards. Because I will have opened something inside of me that is similar to a lock.
Once this lock has been opened I immediately relax. I feel good. That beer tasted great and made me feel great. I want to feel more of that.
So I have a second beer. This one I drink a little quicker because I now have the taste for it. After my fourth beer I start drinking rum. I don’t remember even drinking those last two pints, but I’m sure that they tasted great too. I feel fantastic.
I buy a bottle of rum to take home, and make sure that there is at least six beers chilling in the fridge for tomorrow. I drink through the night.
The next day I wake up and there’s only one beer left in the fridge and the rum is nearly empty. I polish off the beer directly after breakfast and pop to the shops to buy some more. I’ll buy 20 beers this time to last through the week, and another bottle of rum. But I’ll save the rum for the week, and buy a couple of bottles of Prosecco for today. It’s a nice and sunny day, and will be lighter than drinking beer.
By 3pm the Prosecco has gone and I am back on the beer and the rum. I run out of beer on Monday and the rum has gone by Tuesday, so I pop back to the shops to stock up mid week.
After fifteen years of living like this my kidneys start bleeding urate crystals into my blood stream which gives me gout. I lose the ability to walk, sleep or function as a normal human being for weeks at a time. My life becomes a living hell.
I decide to quit drinking and have now been sober now for 22 months. I no longer suffer from gout.
I avoid going to the pub, because it is frankly boring if you are not eating or drinking. “Why don’t you just have one ?” my friends always ask.
Because I am an alcoholic. When I have one beer, although I will drink it slow, I will want another one directly afterwards.
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