Author Posts

September 27, 2019 at 12:14 pm

Just follow these steps:

Don’t say anything. Just look at them while they shout.
Wait until they are finished.
Ask them if they are finished. If they say yes, say either:
Do you feel better now? Then continue on as if they said nothing.
Nothing. Just continue on as if they said nothing.
I like this method because it puts them out on a limb by themselves. Don’t walk out on that limb with them. It makes them look silly because they’re alone out there.

This works for children having temper tantrums as well.

September 30, 2019 at 8:29 am

If you are sure you are in no physical danger, don’t do anything.
Don’t move.
Don’t speak.
Don’t nod.
Don’t break eye contact.
Wait it out.

Sooner or later the shouter will realize that he/she is getting no where and will say something like, ‘Well, aren’t you going to say anything?’
Your response at this point should be, ‘Not until you are calm’. Full stop.

If the shouting resumes, simply remain impassive until it ends, no matter how long it takes.

Refusing to ‘feed’ someone’s anger will result in them deflating a lot sooner than if you attempt to rebut or appease.

If they stomp out in anger, let them go.
Don’t bring up the situation later.
Let them do so if they choose, but once again, refuse to engage with them unless and until they are ready to discuss with you in a calm respectful manner.

October 15, 2019 at 11:56 am

I try to acknowledge the anger understand it as an emotion triggered by my thoughts first up. Just doing that sometimes gets that emotion back into perspective and it quickly settles without doing any damage. Probably because of a simple thought diversion. But more often than not I also ask myself where is that anger coming from. Where did those thoughts come from and were they triggered by a past event in my life? I think back as far as I can to pinpoint an event or circumstance that I could have miss interrupted without a doubt due to my ignorance or limited view at that time. Even doing this without remembering a connection seems to allow my anger to dissipate quickly. Thoughts are energy that our body converts into emotions which converts that energy into physical movements like speech, flight or fight. Energy isn’t positive or negative it is what it is. It is us that transforms that energy into positive or negative thoughts and actions. Once you realise this it opens a new world of self-control. The realisation that you and nobody else controls the way you think and having a huge bearing on your emotions is liberating, to say the least. But as with any skill it needs to be practised to become part of your nature. It helped me with my anger issues I hope it helps you.